I Remember Nothing

Nora Ephron wrote a book called I Remember Nothing.  This is about where I am right now.  I remember reading it and relating to it, but ask me what happened between January 1, 2010 and today, May 27, 2014, I can tell you, so much and so little has happened as  I'll be very unreliable with details.
In broad strokes, I can tick off the big stuff; getting married in June 2010.   I read the book in 2010 as well as that's when it was published.  Q-tip found us in 2011 of course, too.  There was buying a house in February 2012 and working on the Obama campaign that same year.  I was in Hawaii on election day and the rest up to now is a blur because basically I consider 2013 as "AKS", After Knee Surgery. I tore the ACL in my left knee on that trip, had surgery in December and the recovery was so consuming that I felt like parts of my brain were shut off until I was entirely convinced that I was no longer walking with a limp.  That really wasn't until fall of last year.

I've been wanting to revive DoneDotCom for a while now.  Seeing that my last post was almost four years ago and frankly, another person might have well as written those earlier posts, I thought I'd pluck out some key information to stay on track with the original intention the blog.  This is an excerpt from 2008 when I started:

1- DONE.COM isn't just about not working BUT, working everyday especially in America with two weeks vacation until retirement at 65 is definitely not for everyone.
2- DONE.COM may require a plan that takes into consideration aging parents for some.
3- DONE.COM is about being realistic about quality of life in the future.
4- DONE.COM is about having an EXCELLENT grasp on personal finances and financial matters.
5- DONE.COM is about having smart or no debt (smart debt is debt that is paid off regularly at a low interest rate).
6- DONE.COM is about having goals and staying on top of the WHY.
7- DONE.COM is about realizing the need to belong.

Well, I definitely have some new perspective, since I didn't actually account for the extended case of the hiccups that the American economy has had.  I also happen to be getting crushed by the tech "bubble" in the Bay Area that seems to be pushing everyone's buttons, even my own but then again, we all know we don't get our buttons pushed, rather, we walk into people with their finger stuck out.

The Haitian Sensation Part 2

The Haitian Sensation Part 1

So it's almost a YEAR since my last entry.  I will save the details about that year for another time but I did want to update you that, more or less, I'm doing more and I'm doing less.  This is a reference to my last post about doing less as a new year's resolution.  Well, here's something I did do that I wanted to share with you.

DoneDotDecade

So it's 2010.  It didn't occur to me it was the end of a decade as well until a friend mentioned that New Year's Eve felt more significant for it.  I started my new job Monday and had an offsite meeting at a vineyard today (I know,  boo hoo) but I realized as I was driving through wine country, it was a decade since I'd been to that exact area.  I remember in 1999 on NYE, the end of the millennium, I was NOT where I wanted to be.  Literally, I did not want to spend my new year's eve the way it ended up being planned.  This new year's, I was exactly where I wanted to be.  What a difference a decade makes.

Now that my DONEDOTCOM trial is over, I thought I should do a report on what I did.  I will say, there was incredible change but also I shake my head over the fact that I did not in fact write the great American novel, nor did I sculpt six pack abs during my time off.  I did work crush at a winery, get engaged, move to the West Coast, find a new job and buy a 'real' car for the first time in my life.  I think too often we measure ourselves by what we haven't done versus what we have.  Saying that gives the title of this blog a different meaning as well.  Last year my resolution was to DO less and I think I will renew that subscription.  

Maps

It's been a full month since I've tried on my DONEDOTCOM boots on and they are just starting fit just right.

I was at a wedding a this past weekend and it's interesting because I've mentioned this couple before, the ones who were doing their pre Cana.  Well I have to say, seeing them getting married brings some of my previous thoughts full circle as well as offers some new revelations.

Those talks you have beforehand are so important.  It stirs shit up, it's the alarm clock on growing up goes off and it keeps ringing from that point on.  I recognize being true to myself was am important part in moving forward in my relationships.  All of them.  Work, friendship, family, love.

Sometimes I realize that crisis is needed for resolution.  Without tasting the bitter, the sweet is less potent.

I was so reluctant to move, or rather, scared.  I forgot one of my own credos; uncertainty allows for endless possibilities.  Moving wasn't as difficult as I thought; pretty much everything I've left behind has stayed the same and in some cases has gotten better.

What I was most afraid of I realize wasn't how others would change but how my own day to day would change.  I recognize that at certain point for some people, they refuse to read maps.  But maps tell you where you are and if you're looking to get some place, how to get there.

A few weeks ago some friends and I went on a walk to a state park near my new place.  One friend and the GPS app on her iPhone so we could pinpoint our exact location and navigate our way into the woods and out again.  I realized how there are no more excuses left.  You can get anywhere, be it Hopstop or Mapquest or Garmin, and know how long it will take you.  If you really try.

The List

So that little piece of advice my professor gave me:

Choose the next job to get the LAST job.

In true b-school form, this piece of advice was accompanied by a line graph where the X axis plotted time income and the y axis plotted income.  The line moves fairly steadily along the horizontal axis until a point where it starts to shoot up dramatically at a faster rate.  I'll let you marinate on that.

On another note, I'd been frequently asked by people wanting to know what was on my list of things to do in New York before I moved so by popular request I've written it below.  Please feel free to comment on things I should have included.  I didn't actually get to accomplish much due to the lightening speed at which moving materialized but the spirit was willing.

1- Olana and Storm King (I'd been fascinated by the Hudson River School of Painters for some reason.  I think I read about it during a time I was fixated on Truman Capote)
2- River Cafe (I did go by it in a water taxi)
3- Rasputin (a vaudeville Russian dance hall in Brighton Beach, the stories about it keep the mystery alive)
4- Shalimar (This is a diner in the town where I grew up and I had to have one last cheeseburger there.  The burger wasn't as good as I remembered but it was still a nice trip down memory lane.)
4- Eddie's Sweet Shop (A landmark ice cream shop where the boys from the catholic high school would work at the counter.  It was in its own way, very Norman Rockwell)
5- Ellis Island (It was fascinating though you can't go up into the Statue of Liberty without a special ticket so I learned.)
6- A Greek restaurant in Astoria (I did get the name of a place to go from Greek foodies two days before leaving)
7- Empire State Building (I used to work in the area and thought that was enough)
8- The Cloisters (Been there and wanted to see if it was as beautiful as I remembered)
9- Peter Luger's (Been there but wanted a bloody steak)
10- Metropolitan Opera (Saw The Magic Flute and Faust)
11- Salisbury, CT (Went over Labor Day weekend)
12- Visit a friend in Westchester (She came to visit me)
13- Go ice skating (Decided this was too dangerous)
14- See a concert at Bowery Ballroom (Hadn't been in a while but love the venue)
15- Visit The Frick (One day hopefully, maybe over Christmas for a concert)
16- Visit my alma mater U Penn (Maybe for my 15th reunion)
17- Visit the Musuem of Television and Radio (I figured Youtube might solve this)
18- Have a Corona ice (it seemed so Queens, I need to check if they ship)

Berkeley Hills, 94708

I had the epiphany the other day about moving to the West Coast; it wasn't as hard as I thought.  Still, the three hour time difference to New York is sometimes inconvenient when I have the urge to call someone and the fact that four different seasons occur in a day makes dressing tricky if I don't pay attention to what time it is.  Yet, I did it.

I think I put moving up with New Year's Eve and turning 30 (again and again).  Things would monumentally change at this milestone of unprecedented import.  Or not.  It's all relative.  I'm still unemployed so that can delay reality sinking in but as we get older, we grow farther apart.  Literally and figuratively.  Stuff gets in the way.  I'm certain if one of the brat pack from Friends left New York, that would the equivalent of the character getting killed off.  And isn't it funny how the series ended when they got married and started having kids?

I've discovered Berkeley to be a very accurate caricature of itself.  A Prius in every driveway, active community members, people bicycling everywhere, diverse blended families and of course, a plethora of aging hippies.  While it's almost unheard of not to have a car in Berkeley, it's still fairly easy to get around by public transportation or...by foot.   For the gainfully employed, commuting by car is  a given but the days start and end earlier.  There isn't a cab to be seen or a siren to be heard and 9pm is LATE for a Saturday night.  San Francisco is just a BART ride away for night owls.

Moving has reassured me of my priorities.  One of them is being closer to nature.  My friend picked me up on Tuesday to go for a run around a reservoir.  Granted, there's a nice reservoir in Central Park but this reservoir had me saying to myself, "What were you waiting for Crespo?"  Well now, I'm waiting for a job.  It's tough because I don't want to have taken these steps forward only to take a step back.  I took an executive education course at business school at Berkeley last week and the Professor shared some interesting career advice.  Want to hear it?

Look out for my next post.  For now check out the view of my back yard.