Love Story (Part 1)

Tonight I finally watched the movie Love Story. Yes, with Ryan O'Neal and Ali MacGraw. I'm not quite sure what compelled me to see it; probably because it's considered a 'classic' and, to see if it really qualifies as a true 'Tearjerker' (the category under which the movie falls on Netflix). Despite the script being a bit campy in the beginning, I was thoroughly convinced by Oliver and Jenny's romance and even got a little misty toward the end. I doubt anyone will mind the spoiler that I'm revealing about the plot (concerned parties can skip to the next paragraph) but it was surprising that Oliver chose to be cut off from his wealthy parents in order to marry Jenny which meant SHE would have to support HIM through Law School. The movie came out in 1970 so that was still an interesting role reversal for the time.

I recently had a friend announce her engagement. We hadn't been in touch for several months so as soon as I heard the good news I made plans to meet her for dinner to celebrate. The last I'd seen her, she hadn't even met her fiance yet so we had a lot of catching up to do. She told me how she came to know him, what he was like, about the different milestones in their relationship, which culminated with him proposing and the two of them moving in together. He sounds like a great guy and my friend is very happy which piqued my curiousity. I like case studies and hearing about the successful union of a contemporary, I asked her to elaborate on some of the various stages of her relationship because the wedding blitz of my generation passed (and passed me by) so I was interested to see how late bloomer relationships were unfolding these day for other folks (like myself).

My stance with very personal questions is that most people will give you honest answers, so if you really want to know something, just ask. It's rare that people won't respond. Related to this is the fact people reveal only what they want you to know about them, this often goes for relationships so asking questions, and being direct about them is key (and can often save a lot of heartache). My questions ranged from, 'How long did it take before you slept together?' and 'Who said I love you first?' to 'Does he/you know your/his salary?' and 'How did you figure out he wanted to get married/want to have kids?' Bold questions yes, but my friend is one of the most soft spoken, yet at the same time, most direct people I know. And I also knew she'd been in a long term relationship before that didn't work out but had the awareness to recognize its limitations so I'm confident she picked a good egg by asking the right questions and revealing important things about herself. One thing, she brought up was that when she and her fiance decided to move in together and they approached the topic of personal fianances, she had to admit that she had credit card debt and needed help with a making a budget for herself. I admired her honesty for being transparent with her fiance about her financial situation and for her humility in asking him for help. I also admired her for admitting this to me as well. While I would not characterize myself (ever) as soft spoken, I can be obtuse at times with icky topics (like money and in relationships).

I have another friend that's on the path to getting engaged where she and her fiance have already started Pre-Cana sessions. The misconception with Pre-Cana is that it's religiously focused when actually many practical topics are covered to prepare couples for the realities of marriage and what it means. I'd like to re-introduce a website I mentioned in an earlier post that I liken to the pre-Cana for being DONE.COM. If you haven't signed up yet, go to www.mint.com and register for an account. This is the first step EXCELLENT (and free) step in getting on top of personal finances.

Then, go to http://personal.fidelity.com/planning/retirement/retirement_planning.shtml.cvsr?bar=c and do the Fidelitly myPlanSM Retirement Quick Check. This is an easy retirement calculator that may or may not cause you to panic so have a cocktail before doing it. While the website says it takes 30 minutes to do the calculator, it takes more like three minutes. This will give you a picture of what your retirement savings need to be (one part of the equation) for when you ideally would like to be DONE.COM.

The missing part of this equation is the lifestyle calculator which I'll be hard at work developing (while I'm also hard at work at increasing my mileage for the marathon). By the way, I ran 16 miles this past Saturday. I realize all this training is actually paying off with me being able run longer distances. The bad news is that the second toenail on my right foot is tender, just like this economy.

In Love Story Part 2, I hope to report the efficacy of the TLC I deliver to my toe and to you (T-he L-ifestyle C-alculator).